est. 2007

Fruko Schulz 60 Absinth Review:

-60% abv (120 proof), .7 litre

-Country of Origin: Czech Republic

-Winner of no medals, ever.

I'll be blunt. This is the only Czech review I'll be doing for a long time, so just as a quick reference let me say this: as a rule of thumb, just about every brand coming out of the Czech Republic is rancid. Terrible, really. Sure, there may be a few exeptions, but really, why risk it when the odds are stacked so overwhelmingly against you? That's the reason I knowingly waste my hard-earned money testing brands I'm almost positive beforehand will be awful; so that my testimony may serve to prevent you from enduring the interminable suffering I have...

They don't call this an oil mix for nothing. Adding water will force this absinth to regurgitate a steady flow of oil, but it doesn't lead to a louche in any way, shape, or form. In fact, not only does it not louche, but it even loses nearly all of the weak colour it once had by the 3:1 mark. At least other Czechsinths retain some of their (highly artificial) colour, for God's sake! It smells and tastes like the tooth-polishing paste everyone so dreads when going to the dentist. Imagine actually PAYING to taste this,-minus the cleaning of your teeth! And am I swishing water with a bad Crystal Light knock-off added? To call it a paper thin texture is going easy.

And you know a drink is bad when you actually MISS the bitter, toothpaste yuckiness of the previous glass. One sugar cube insertion later and I can feel myself in that large dentist chair even more vividly. Oh, the cruel mental scars of having a convicted pedophile as my oral surgeon...

My goodness, I've been so negative in this review, I should try to find SOMETHING good to say. I suppose to it's credit my nostrils were singed only mildly and should be good as new in 4-6 weeks, and I WAS able to utilize it to ruin someone else's perfectly good drink out of spite. You see? With a good attitude you can find something good in even the most traumatic of incidents.

But yeah, it's bad. If I had a third thumb that would also be a thumbs down.


Presentation: 2.0
Louche: 0.0
Taste: 1.5
Value: 1.0

Overall: 1.5

Posted 1/25/2008